and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
