haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
