Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
