I wannas sexs uuuuu
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can't turn off my feet"
My breasts were aching with rage.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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