so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
