No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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