we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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