I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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