cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
