After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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