Well apparently he's into motor boating.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
