Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
