Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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