I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
