Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
