woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm like, not good at living.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
