I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you would pick up someone in the library
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
