Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sorry about my life...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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