I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
