no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
