When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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