he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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