I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
