i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
