I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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