i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
