Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
