if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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