quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
