is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize