So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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