and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
