she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
