We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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