Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
