hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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