So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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