we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
