the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
