This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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