Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
