Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
