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• (503): View more from Oregon

  What's wrong?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pussy.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm jealous

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My throat feels like a candle.

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• (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?

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• (707): View more from California

  I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?

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