fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
