No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
