Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
