Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
