He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
