Quick, to the slutcave!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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