Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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