Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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