last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm passing your future prison.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
