Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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