She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
