Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
