one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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