I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
