May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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