He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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