He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
