Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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