Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just pee around me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
