She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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