I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
