Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize